Hey Santa! Listen up … time is ticking away. Only 26 bingeing days left to Christmas Eve. Is your flat belly even close to being Santa Claus ready? No? Then it’s time to get gooey, Kris Kringle. It’s crunch time, St. Nicholas! Time to sneak extra helpings of crunchy Christmas Cookies and gooey Holiday Treats. Like: Gingerbread Men, Chocolate Truffles, Mexican Wedding Cakes, Shortbreads, Peanut Blossoms, Peppermint Whoopie Pies, S’More Granola Bars, Snickerdoodles, Coconut Macaroons, Alfajores, Linzers, Nanaimo Bars, Turtle Brownies, Florentines, Chocolate Mint Squares, Speculaas, Butter Tart Squares, Rice Krispies Treats, Bourbon Balls, and Christmas Sugar Cookies.
Or, if you’re not up for the massive calorie intake demands of forming natural Santa curves and lumps, there is an online alternative. Have your charge card handy. This holiday season avoid the delicious temptations and sugary stress of transforming into a believable stout Santa. Stay skinny instead and simply purchase a Santa Belly, by visiting:
SantaSuitExpress.com
Santa Belly Padding – $27.99
“This is a lightweight, synthetic Santa Belly Pad designed to give your Santa a more realistic appearance. This is pre-filled with 3 inches of padding. One size fits all.”
Santa Belly Pouch – $23.99
“This is a synthetic Santa Belly Pouch. The padding is only 1 inch thick but there is a pouch that allows your Santa to add padding for a custom fit. These are one-size.”
Reasonably priced, as well. You just can’t beat the per pound savings of a fake Santa Belly versus a real Santa Belly. Incredible short-term advantages versus long-term ailments. This holiday season, resist the pressure to shake like a bowl full of jelly.
Don’t shake it! Just fake it!
Ho-Ho-Ho!
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Each “98.5 laps” blog entry also features
wellness success stories and key resources
located throughout Waukesha County and southeast Wisconsin:
* * *
Cybros
The Sprouted Bakehouse
More than 40 years ago — before sprouted grains were well known — Cybros was founded on the simple principle that bread should be nutritious, delicious, and made from the finest ingredients mother nature can provide.
That’s why we use only natural ingredients and follow exacting recipe standards. We have a full menu of all natural, healthy breads and are the only producer of fresh sprouted grain breads in the central United States. Our sprouted grain breads are naturally rich in protein, fiber and nutrients without sacrificing the taste, texture and moisture everybody loves.
Tel: 262.547.1821 • 800.876.2253 • Fax: 262.547.8946 • PO Box 851 • Waukesha, WI 53187-0851
Posted by Lee Patzer on November 29, 2011 at 7:28 am
Good luck trying to be a skinny Santa on Christmas Eve. The business world won’t accept it. Fatten up or be prepared to be fired. Don’t want to see Santa standing in the unemployment line on Christmas Day …